Tomorrow never cry
by gamabakachan
Summary: Sasunaru.Sainaru. MPREG.Drama.Romance.Angst. Read the warnings inside.  Sasuke reunite with the woman of his life again, but Naruto's heart is about to be crushed apart, and Sai can't stand to watch it, especially knowing the secret Sasuke had forgotten..
1. can't close my eyes

**Author's Note: **I wished for the ownership of Naruto this Christmas, but I've been a bad girl so Santa didn't visit me. Too bad I still don't own Naruto or Sasunaru.

BTW; I'm a rapist and A PSYCHOPATH so I forewarn anyone who are/is expecting this to be lighthearted and lovey dovey … sorry please hit the return/back button., and for those who stay, welcome to the other side (I play too much Persona these days).

**WARNING!** (If you are not okay with any of the listed items, hit the return button immediately…)

Male pregnancy (especially at a young age), nonconsensual sex aka rape, light BDSM (or maybe heavy, depending on the mood), homosexual sex (tons) or preferably "lemons" and "cream pies", heterosexual sex (info listed below), and possibly violence, gore and profanity (not too heavy) … last but not least, **bastardation** of Sasuke (yeah, he's a real bastard in this one as usual).

Pairing: Centric Sasunaru and Sainaru, some Sasuhina and some Itanaru as well as Kakanaru ... slight Sasusaku (mostly unrequited)

HEAVY OOC … The story follow the original Naruto plot slightly, but almost everyone and everything is out of character and out of place. I would say the setting takes place in a parallel Naruto world where Naruto was born a little later than the rest of his fellow comrades. Naruto is 13 years old, and Sasuke and the rest are 15 years old.

Heterosexual sex between SASUHINA … I would have used Sakura but she didn't seem to fit into the role very well … so I'm going with Hinata (she's definitely OOC)

VOCABULARY:

_Thoughts, and sometimes quoted thoughts (even with "", if italicized, it is still thoughts)_

"dialogue"

**emphasis/clues/forewarning**

regular text

* * *

Prologue:

_"can't close my eyes,_

_this burning burning desire,_

_will change the dark dark darkness,_

_no one needs this colorless world,_

_ah, you don't need it."_

_- DOA "Desire"_ **(for Naruto, from Naruto)**

**...  
**

_"I wonder if he still remembers…"_

The blonde boy quickly averted his azure eyes when he caught glimpse of the raven-haired boy, and his joyously stupid face as he scooped up the woman of his life into his arms. He felt chills suddenly invading his own body, and wrapped his arms around himself … as if to protect.

_"…the 3 months we shared together?"_

Hinata's eyes were already gleaming with tears, as she struggle to breathe within his protection. She muttered his name, and for the first time, he smiled for her so gently … like he never did for Naruto.

_"Sasuke … do you remember…"_

Sai came from behind Naruto and whispered into his ears, he twitched and quickly escaped the grasp of the sly Anbu. The blonde glared at Sai who only stared back at him with lusty eyes, and suddenly the blonde's body shuddered at great heights remembering the days before he met Sasuke … when even Sai hated him.

_"the days we spent together?"_

Naruto glanced over to where Sasuke held the emotional reunion with his woman after 2 so-called years of separation. No mission achieve and no revenge accomplish, but Sasuke was still so passionately in love with Hinata. Of course, the blonde knew she was a good woman - she was the only one who acknowledge him when everyone else despise him. He forced a smile on, but the Anbu could easily knock down his pretense.

_"…the pain … the pleasure,"_

Yes, Naruto felt his head getting hotter and lighter as if he was being lift up higher into the air. He imagined if it was Sasuke, he would have been able to let go and rest down on the raven-haired man's strong shoulders, instead Sai quickly grabbed him by the waist to support him, and the blonde wriggled to free himself. If only Sasuke was the same old Sasuke, he would have quickly race to where Sai is and punch him a few supersonic KOs. Naruto shook his head for he knew the truth all along; **the Sasuke who loved him was not the real Sasuke**.

_"…tears, loneliness, happiness… and promises."_

He could feel Sai's skinny arms around him, and he pretended to struggle free some more as he focused his attention on the raven-haired man. _No!_ He thought to himself as he watched Sasuke's head bow down closer to Hinata's … _No, please don't kiss her, not here, not in front of me, no!_ His hands were quickly scooped by Sai's and like a butterfly, the palms of his suntanned hands became wings to shield his vision from the sight of happiness … and sadness.

_"… you gave me all of them, and I love you…"_

Through the crack between his fingers, he spotted the raven-haired man; he quickly glance at the blonde and the Anbu and turned back to smother Hinata's body against his to confirm her existence and the existence of his reality, as for Naruto, he was still dreaming, and gazing at the memories Sasuke had set aflame. It was a light destined to be taken away under God's trick, and he knew it was because he is a boy. An Uchiha do not need a boy.

_…"and I hated you so much."_

Ah, the glittering sight of happiness is making Naruto feel sick. He wanted to puke. He bit his lips from puking. He pressed the edge of his abdomen, but his eyes were fluttering backward, and the world is spinning around and around in circles until Sasuke's face was twisted into ugliness. _I hated you so much,_ he thought to himself again as he finally let go, and fell into the arms of the Anbu. Sai's worried face gave him a sense of happiness and sadness as he realized someone did give a damn about **his health and his life**_. Sasuke's not coming, I knew that already but_ …

"Stop looking at her."

Sai's face became warped with gentleness as he screamed and and yelled silent words. This was too much to take. He knew this day would come, but he can't help but hate Hinata for being the first … the first for Sasuke's everything.

"Why won't you look at me, like you used to?"

Sai's lips moved. He questioned him - probably, since he had that stupid, confused expression on his face. Ah, it felt good making Sai get worried over him … for once, the one in despair was not himself.

"…Sasuke?"

Sai's face contorted into one that look very familiar, like the time, Sasuke looked directly at him and asked for his name. It was like the first time, he ever met him, and the time, he tried to offer tea, but the raven-haired slapped the cup from his grip and screamed at the blonde for being insensitive. _'Don't you know how I feel,'_ _Sasuke demanded,' I don't have time, Hinata could be here any moment.'_ Naruto reached for Sai's familiar expression, and in self pity, warm tears glittered at the edge of his half opened eyes. The world stopped turning, but everything was out of focused. It was getting so blurry.

For the first time, he heard Sai's voice again.

"What are you saying? I can't hear you."

_Ah,_ Naruto thought, _so I actually spoke out loud. How lame_ … he wanted to laugh but it was too painful to budge so how could he cry, but certainly, he felt tears at his wet cheeks. No, they were not his. He looked again and saw that familiar expression on Sai changed. Sai's face as he cried looked so much like Sasuke's.

"You cried that time…"

"You smiled too…"

"and you said I belong to you."

"Even when I was crying …"

"you said I belong to you…"

Oh no, the blonde can't seem to see Sai anymore. Sai's lips moved again … _what are you saying?_ He made out of the lips, and he chuckled a little. It's not so bad seeing Sai's face blend into the resemblance of Sasuke … his kindness, his sadness, and his loneliness. If Sasuke's not coming over, and if Sai cannot hear him, he might as well say one more thing.

"I forgot to tell you, Sasuke…"

"that I'm pregnant … weird, right? Even though I'm a boy … I'm a boy but I got preg-

The lights went out perhaps. The world stopped moving, and within his dreams, there were only floating memories of his happiness. He felt a quivering hand over his cheeks, and for the first time, he heard Sai's voice spoke in such pain and agony, but he couldn't help but agree.

"You idiot."

_"There is no pain you can't finish enduring,"_

_"Someday, you may come to like and to love yourself,"_

_"so faith, help me, be happy,_

_dance with life at such times..."_

_- DOA "Dance with Life"_ **(dedicated to Sainaru's relationship ;;hints;;)  
**

* * *

I will continue this story ... and yes, it will be so heartbreaking ... I'll probably cry while writing. This was actually inspired by one of the dreams I had. I'm really motivated for this one, so I won't work on any other story. I don't have a beta, and I'll probaby beta'd my own stuff so go ahead and point out if I made some annoying grammatical errors. I had a beta before, but suddenly she don't remember me ... which is one of the reason I quit on the old stories and start a new (no, I'm not blaming you, I'm just using you as an excuse).

**Please review if you like the story .. I don't care if you flame, so why bother?**

BTW, the title came from a song by the group DOA, called "Desire," which I used some of their lyrics for quoting (as well as their song "Dance with life").

Since Sasuke's a bastard, I will put up some quotes when I find them up to signify his future characters, as for now, these quotes I bold are hints of their (Sainaru) future characters and relationship. This prologues mostly hint at Sai and Naruto so for now, these are for them.


	2. we were like brave soldiers

Someday, I promise I will update at least 5 chapters altogether but for now, life's at my throat.

Here is the first real chapter, and it's a flashback to little eight years old Naruto. Everything will kick into gear the next chapter.

* * *

Chapter 2:

"...We were brave like soldiers,  
Falling down under the pale moonlight,  
You were holding to me,  
Like a someone broken…"

-Rob Thomas "Ever the same"

_(7 years ago)_

Naruto scurried on his tiny, battered feet lightly, and upon facing villagers he quickly hid behind posts, trees, and houses – of course, because he was not allowed to be here tonight. Today marked the 8th anniversary of the Konoha village, and from afar, especially the outskirts of the town where eight-year old Naruto resides, he could spot the flaming bright colors inviting him in. The night sky was lighted by fireworks, and the reflecting lights painted colors onto the lake. Naruto wiped away the dirt from his face, and swiftly escaped into the beckoning sea of colors resembling that of his dead goldfish and swallowtail butterfly except at the top of the temple shrine, a group of elderly men waited for him with torches in their grasp. One man spat to the group with disgust, and the little blonde boy grimaced but did not back down.

"Oh, good evening … are you here to invite me in?" he teased the elderly men, but none seemed too happy with the joke. They continued to stare him down.

"Don't tell me Tsunade-baachan finally gave up her position to me?" the boy tried another one. Finally, the men gave in with a sigh.

"Naruto, you do know you can't come here, do you?"

The blonde boy scowled at the men, and took a big step forward pushing his way into the beckoning lights, but his small frame was stopped by the elderly men's strength. Naruto attempted to push the hands away from his chest. Slowly, his face distorted into that of a rejected child.

"Why? Why can't I?" he asked angrily, pretending to express the rage over his pain. The same man sighed again, and placed his palm over the boy blonde's hair.

"I don't make the rules. Konoha decides them, all of Konoha."

"All? What about me? I don't have a voice here," Naruto complained, "I know I've been bad painting the Hokage sculptures, and breaking things, but you know, you know I lived at the outskirt of the village, so can't I at least come to festivals like other kids … I don't even have parents."

A small fragile child was reflected in the eyes of the elderly men, and they could not help but be saddened by their lack of options. They sighed again and looked down at the cemented ground guilt bounded. Within that short opening, the fox within the mischievous boy quickly cut through the gap hoping to hide from the men. His face glowered with curiosity, and the whisker marks at the cheeks slightly twitched.

_Yes!_ He thought to himself as he calculated the length toward the end of the stairs, and the length behind him from the huffing old men. There was a great advantage to this, but right when he was about to let out his usual victory laugh, his tiny head bumped brutally into someone's abdomen. The mischievous fox fell to the ground.

"Ow… that hurts, really hurts."

The blonde continuously rubbed the pain nibbling at his nose, and while doing so, the elderly men caught up to him. One angry man pulled him up quite violently by the arm, almost breaking him.

"You never learn do you, fox-kid?"

Of course, there was no way Naruto would give in to just a couple of old men, so he rebelled with a few kicks to the shin, but their grasp was stronger than any average old man, as expected of the Konoha village. The blonde tried with his tiny fists this time, but well, fighting was not exactly his strong point, neither was any jutsu except for the sexy jutsu he had invented himself, which he had always praised to be a deadly genius move. Amidst his struggling, a kind man freed his arm from the grasp of the elderly people, and when he looked up, eyes filled to the brim with gratitude, he saw the silhouette of a ebony dark man whose smile seem gentler than the waves of the Konoha lake*.

"Itachi-san?" the elderly man introduced the kind person, and the blonde repeated the name to his not-so-intelligent brain.

"What happened here?" His face was masculine and handsome as well, and the boy spot two diagonal lines tracing from the edge of each eyes to the edge of his upper lips. It was his face main feature along with the gentle air he seemed to give when he grin at the blonde.

"This is Uzumaki Naruto –"

The blonde's name seems to be quite infamous around town, because whenever someone mentioned it, everyone grimaced in fear and walk a few miles away from him. He doesn't really feel the need to always be strolling around town anyways except to pick up necessity.

"I see," Itachi quickly replied without letting the men finish. Naruto studied his face, and no fear was found. Is this man really the spark of hope he waited for? He studied Itachi's face again, and it seemed unwavering without any intention of moving at all. _Never mind,_ Naruto thought, _I give up._

"It will be alright to let him in, won't it?" The smile was still pasted on his face. _Really,_ the blonde thought to himself, _will they really let me go for once, come on, I'm already eight._ Now that the blonde studied him a little harder, he seem like a man of status.

"Well, that's a little—"

"Just give him some girl's kimono, and use him as the fox's sacrifice…"

Cerulean pupils widened at the sudden toss of terms … kimono… sacrifice? What exactly is going on around here? The blonde started struggling knowing these men do not meant well as long as they are residents of Konoha. Itachi chuckled.

"It's not what you think…" Itachi chuckled again under his muffled breath, and then he puffed out a sigh creating some floating smokes into the cold air.

"Every year, the village chooses a young girl as a sacrifice as the main ritual offering her to the nine-tailed fox … well, she becomes an important asset for the festival receiving respect and gratitude."

The expression on Naruto's face told the man all that he was not catching onto the gist of it one bit. Itachi chuckled some more before elaborating the details.

"Well, it is kind of a reenactment to fix what happened before, since people believed the fox went berserk because her child was taken away by Konoha villagers … the ritual is a kind of remorse act … you know, if-we-did-this-then-this-would-never-happen kind of thing … supposedly the child was female but who knows."

Naruto was slowly nodding his head to the conversation, but really all he understood was that if he became part of the ritual, it means he could freely roam around the brightly colored and festive town. The elderly men looked at one another, slowly nodding their heads. _There are good people in the world after all,_ the little blonde boy thought to himself silently as he clenched his fists tightly waiting for confirmation.

…

The blonde looked at his reflective twin, but there was no way anyone would take him for a girl. He looked at the whisker marks at his cheeks, and pinched it hard until it deepened into a light pink color. He scowled at himself and the brightly orange kimono they had fastened around his waist. _Damn,_ he thought, _I want to rip this flower off._ The elegant brooch in his golden hair was a big spot-on –- anyone would be able to notice him right away with that contrast on his head.

The men walked in with Itachi and gestured him to be prepared. The blonde trailed behind them climbing onto something they entitled a "stagecoach." Itachi would smile to him once in a while until they came to a stop.

"Once they start the ritual, you just lay there on that board, I mean 'stagecoach,' until you get near the fire, and after chanting, there is going to be an explosion of fireworks, then that's the end … need a repeat?" The blonde shook his head lightly, assigning each finger to remember each step. Itachi handed over a fox mask to the blonde, and he took it without much surprise – of course, it would be a surprise if they knew who was behind the fox mask.

"When you're done, I can show you around if you want…" The blonde's cerulean eyes beamed with excitement again, and his enlarged pupils said it all. Itachi only chuckled. He pointed to a small bridge as he directed the boy, "I'll be right there." Naruto nodded excitedly, and rushed off "to be sacrifice."

…

"Itachi-san!" the blonde rushed to where the pale man stood moon viewing except the moment, the cool and aloof Itachi turned around, Naruto was on the ground. _Damn kimono_, he cursed. Itachi chuckled again for the umpteenth time, and pulled the blonde up by his arms. He attempted to wipe away the dust from the blonde's kimono but the excited boy was struggling to get away quickly and to get to a stand as soon as possible. Itachi trailed behind the boy, following him from stand to stand, winning prizes for him, and also treating him to many treats including takoyaki, fried squids, and yakisoba. The boy repeatedly checked to see if his victory goldfish was still swimming and alive once in a while. Itachi watched his innocence, and can't help but be touched by it. If he were to describe this innocence, it would be brilliant orange … a color that brings life to a dull backdrop. The boy reached the steps of the temple, and he waved his goodbye to the kind man before scurrying away. Itachi waved back.

Someone tugged him by the shoulder, and swiftly, he turned around to face his younger brother, a clear imitation of him except slightly more irritating than he is.

"What Sasuke?"

"That's my question, what are you doing here waving to air?"

"Not air, Naruto."

"The fox-kid?"

"You know him?"

"No, but I heard he's popular in the elementary class."

"Popular?"

"Well, not exactly – more like he's the class clown, he's always striving for attention and that he's annoying."

'_Not as much as you,'_ Itachi thought to himself.

"He's a cute boy."

"Cute? Your taste's a little off, bro."

"Never mind me, are you joining the festival?"

"I did but girls kept irritating me so I decided to go home."

"What about the Sakura girl or Hinata from the Hyuuga clan?"

"Sakura's always talking too much, and Hinata doesn't want to come near me."

"But you like Hinata, don't you?"

"Well, a little because intangible things are attractive y'know?"

"You have a terrible personality – are you leaving?"

"Yeah, so I'm off. See you."

The Uchiha manor, more like a miniature village, is also located at the outskirts of Konoha except toward the southeast; Itachi realized he had forgotten to tell the blonde that, but oh well, if he wanted to, he could find the blonde in a heartbeat. He placed his palm at his chest to feel his heart thumping slightly louder, and his grinning face faded away. He bit his lips in disgust; "Damn, I just became a pedophile."

…

Sasuke spot another girl ahead of his road, and was readily prepared to hide. _It must be Ino, or one of the girl from class_, he thought, and before she made a rotation, he quickly flung into the bushes, but too bad, he missed and fell flat on the ground. His ears are burning hot, and he dare not look up. The almighty Sasuke had just fallen; it was a tainted mark on his record. How uncool.

"Ah … how uncool." The voice belonged to a boy, and it sounded like a rotten kid. Sasuke quickly looked up, but the boy was busily scampering away into the distance. "Hey mister, you can't sleep there!" he teased Sasuke some more, as he escaped further away. Angrily, Sasuke stood up to his feet, and attempted to run after the laughing boy. From far away, he looked no different from a girl except with bright colored hair. "Go home mister! There are ghosts around here!" He taunted some more before fading out into the distance. Sasuke stopped chasing the silhouette. He wanted to beat a lesson into that puny head, but he didn't recognize the boy, and from the direction he ran toward, it was definitely not Konoha. _Damn,_ he cursed.

Under the pale moonlight, Naruto chuckled to himself making his way home to his tiny hut in the woods. He pulled a glass jar from underneath his kitchen's sink, washed it thoroughly with clean water, and then released the goldfish Itachi-san had won into it. The fish swam around the bowl freely, and its' intense movement and colors reminded the boy of the exploding fireworks.

Little did he know, the encounter he made tonight will change his life forever…

"Everything's broken,  
everything's vacant,  
Everything's wasted time again,  
Sentiments hopeless,  
Innocence jaded,  
Everything's wasted time again…"

"Wasted time"-Fuel

* * *

Preview:

5 years later, Naruto becomes a genin (Tsunade's favorite) and attempts to chase after the man he admired (Itachi) … a mysterious anbu, Sai, is dispatched to secretly help him, but instead he meet the traitor of Konoha (Sasuke) … what ensues and why did Sasuke impregnate the blonde?

Stay tuned.

Sorry, I suck at preview, but are you confused? Then, keep reading, please (onegaishimasu)...


	3. with your obsession

Ok, I'm actually writing more these days but I know the chapters are kind of short ... so I promise the next update is going to be longer. Everyone seems confused why I chose Sai as the second main "seme" instead of Itachi but I promise there is a reason because previously, I have always used Itachi -not this time, but Itachi is still very important ... and about Hinata, I wanted the female to be someone of status and someone quiet and womanly so I kicked Sakura and Ino out of the parts ... it might seem weird but Hinata is still pretty much Hinata-like (probably). I'm glad you all are confused because that is exactly what I wanted to go for ...

* * *

Chapter 3:

"If you want to try making your dreams come true,

break it up,

keep going higher,

I don't need any technique to knock out your heart…"

-"PAINLESS PAIN" – M.O.V.E

_(5 years later)_

"Hey did you hear about the Uchiha?"

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yes, I heard he was brainwashed by Orochimaru."

"Really, did he not follow Orochimaru on his own free will?"

"The latest gossip is apparently he doesn't remember Konoha anymore."

"Why is that?"

"He was brainwashed I said – by some powerful drugs Orochimaru and his sidekick have been experimenting with."

"So is he still considers exclusively a traitor of Konoha?"

The gossiping housewives shrugged from one to another, their pink faces twitched with excitement until Uzumaki Naruto entered. Each woman's voice faded away into muted gibberish and their faces into pale blue. They gathered baskets from their feet stuffed with dinner materials, and walked their separate ways. For 5 years, Naruto had been used to this type of treatment. He clenched his fists tighter, and shut his eyes closed. "I gotta try harder," he thought to himself silently masking his apparent angry feelings.

"Naruto!"

The blonde turned around to face his senior. Nara Shikamaru stood couple of inches taller than the blonde with his ponytail flying in the reverse direction, and his face was as usual- bored of the world, bored of Naruto, and bored at what he is about to say.

"Tsunade is calling for you."

A smile spread across the boy's face, and in the sudden moment, his cerulean eyes lit up, causing the lethargic man to lose focus of his boredom. Naruto trailed behind the Chuunin, who once in a while would quickly glance back at whatever who knows what.

The blonde entered the Hokage's office, a junkyard of papers. He watched his senior and imitated him as they both attempted not to get lost in the paper jungle. Finally, the Chuunin made a stop, and turned around to give the blonde the "okay" look.

"Tsunade-sama, I brought in Uzumaki Naruto."

The woman's H-cup slowly slithered out from the piles of papers, and her face was unrecognizable as it had been stamped several times with overdue dates. She cleaned the dried saliva from her cheeks, and managed to open her eyes. Her face was still young for a lady her age (of course, they all knew why). The mischievous blonde jumped into the middle of a pile causing it to scatter apart. He pointed his finger at her, and began to accuse her;

"Tsunade-baachan, you've been gambling again, didn't you?"

She looked at him grimly, and then irritatingly.

"What? Don't call me in if you're taking an afternoon nap!"

She picked up a stamp and threw it at him, but he dodged it slightly.

"See? Even your skills had rust away … I bet even Shikamaru could dodge that!"

"Oi, oi…" Shikamaru had no interest in their game, but Tsunade turned her gaze at the Chuunin, and picked up another stamp. Quickly, she shot it at him, but it ended in the grasp of the lazy Chuunin, as expected of Konoha's best strategist.

"See, what did I told you!"

Tsunade finally pulled herself up onto the chair, and straightened out her back. She poured herself some tea from who knows where, and slowly sipped it. Finally, she let out a sigh.

"Okay, let's get serious."

"You're the only one not serious here," the blonde muttered under his breath.

This time her stamp did not missed and directly hit the blonde's puny head.

"What did you say?" she screamed at the boy.

"Please get to the point, Tsunade-sama," the Chuunin broke in.

Finally, she pulled out a folder from her drawer, and flipped through the pages silently. She stopped, and before laying down her important piece, she quickly and messily cleaned the desk by shoving the papers off to the ground and setting her foot next to the piece of important mission.

"This is Uchiha Sasuke," she introduced the sinister looking man in the photograph. She traced one finger over his face, and with a screech, she slightly scratched his pale skin with the tip of her painted nails. Somehow, the man resembled Itachi-san, and with the mention of the Uchiha heir, Naruto's heart excitedly pumped a little faster.

"He is the younger brother of Uchiha Itachi," Tsunade glanced at the blonde to check his expression, and as expected, the boy flinched in surprise.

"Although this is hard for my position, I am assigning you to this mission-"

Before she was able to finish her thoughts, the chuunin interrupted in disagreement.

"Tsunade-sama, I cannot agree with you on this."

"I am the hokage!" she quickly rejected his argument, and the lazy chuunin was taken aback by her sudden resolve. She continued to pull out a few more slips. She pointed to some of the faces he recognized.

"You'll be under the wings of Hatake Kakashi and Hyuuga Hinata."

Kakashi's name brought back bitter memories as he remembers the solemn days of his training with the man known as his teacher, except Kakashi spent most of the time hiding his face behind a mask and an ero-book. The only move the silver-haired ninja taught him was to stick his finger up someone's ass…_tch, thousand years of pain, my ass, _Naruto thought to himself as the memories flashed by. Hinata, on the other hand, reminded him of peaceful times for when he was with her, he felt truly adored. If he was to describe her, it would be "a good woman."

If it was anyone who gave him attention, it was Hyuuga Hinata. She was timid and extremely introverted for her age, and although she was older than the blonde by two years, she was the one acting like a child. The first time she approached him was while training; she sat herself down and started spattering about her pathetic life – how her father loves her younger sister more, how she wished she had more talent, and how she wished she had made more choices she would not regret. When he asked her what those choices are, she kept smiling and shaking her head as if it should always remain a secret. The blonde sighed remembering about those days.

"Your mission is to find Uchiha Sasuke and bring him back to Konoha," Tsunade stated. The blonde's crystalline blues lit up like light bulbs, and with both arms up, he jumped for joy.

"Yeah, I'll do it!"

Shikamaru studied the blonde's behavior and shook his head in silent disagreement.

"What Shikamaru? Do you believe my choices are wrong?"

"I don't agree with you, but you're the Hokage—"the chuunin turned to face the excited boy who had seemed to stop moving, and was waiting for his senior's approval. Shikamaru gave him a lazy smile:

"…and I trust Naruto." The blonde gave him one of his bright grins again while gritting his teeth with both eyes shut.

"Thanks Shikamaru."

…

The moonlit room astray from the rest of Konoha, and the young blonde climbed himself into the mess he had made. He picked up the file from his bed sheet, and for a long time, stared down at it. He made many faces at it, and finally gave out a sigh.

"It's Itachi's brother," he whispered silently to the night, and slowly, let go of the grip from his fingertips. He used his index finger to pinpoint the man's feature:

"This, this, and that – they're all Itachi-san," his voice sounded like the child he was before when Itachi-san used to climb in and out of his window bringing him variety of gifts. He was so happy then, waiting everyday like a fool and suddenly, Itachi stopped coming … right after _that incident_. The blonde remembered it well because he couldn't understand what Tsunade was saying when the blonde got sick after _that incident_.

_"Naruto, never let anyone touch you in any weird way," she said then._

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because you are special, inside of you there is the nine-tailed fox…"_

The blonde remembered how gravely it sounded when she said those last words:

_ "You have a second stomach."_

Naruto shook the thoughts from his head. He let out another sigh and packed away the mission files before going to sleep, in preparation for his incoming mission.

…

"Danzo-sama, I brought him here," a strange man hidden behind a cat mask announced as a dark silhouette trailed behind him. The deformed man turned around and with one hand, gestured the anbu to leave. The dark man walked out of the shadows into the light, and quickly he bowed before Danzo.

"Sai," the deformed man called to him, and his pale face was reflected in the light – a face more similar to Sasuke's than Itachi's.

"I am going to assign you to a new mission."

Sai still did not say a word but his eyes, and ears were listening.

"Follow Uzumaki Naruto, and make sure you don't get caught …"

Without a doubt, Sai knew exactly what this is about.

"When you get the chance, kill Uchiha Sasuke … do not harmed to the nine-tailed kid … he is an important asset to Konoha."

The pale anbu nodded his head, and bowed once to acknowledge his mission. Slowly, a fake smile spread across his face and he replied in a low, musky voice:

"I understand, Danzo-sama."

"…but I will not  
Hide you through this  
I want you to help

Change my attempt good intentions  
Should I, could I

Here we are with your obsession  
Should I, could I…"

- "10 Years"-Wasteland

* * *

PREVIEW: (should I continue w/ preview because I don't go very far in the next chapter anyways...)

Well ... in continuation, Naruto runs into the so-called infamous Uchiha Sasuke but he has no intention of returning, and what's most unfortunate is he do not remember anyone from Konoha not even his lover, Hinata (which of course Naruto knew ...to be cover in the next chapter) - Naruto gets stuck w/ Sasuke in the hideout ... Sai tries to find him while Kakashi & Hinata are also busy searching for the blonde ... but suddenly Naruto discovers the shocking truth from Sasuke that he actually remember one thing from Konoha and that is...

Note: Those lyrics really are supposed to help. They're really hints ... like "Change my attempt good intentions, Should I, could I" really do represents Sai's later feelings as it change and his choices ... or something like that ... I feel sucky as an author giving everything away.

Well, until next time.


	4. we are illuminated

I didn't beta'd this. Sorry if there are terrible mistakes ... I'm too lazy :) I'm losing motivation.

* * *

_"Suddenly my eyes are open,_  
_ Everything comes into focus, oh,_  
_ We are all illuminated,_  
_ Lights are shining on our faces, blinding..."_

"Naruto, you're walking too far ahead," the silver-haired man complained with one arm gesturing the blonde to return to his side, but the boy only ignored it and walked further down the path.

"Naruto-kun, please don't stray too far," Hinata tried this time and it worked; the blonde slowed down his pace, and turn half profile to acknowledges the two turtles straying behind him. He took a step, and checked up on them again – still a mile behind. He sighed, and sat down counting the snails at his feet …_one, two, three_…

Someone's dirty foot kicked him from behind and he knew it belonged to the rotten old man. Naruto growled at him.

"What are you doing, Kakashi-sensei?"

The silver-haired jounin grinned at the angry blonde, and pointed ahead.

"We're already here."

The blonde happily jumped from his posture, and with one palm protecting his face from the sunlight, Naruto stared long ahead where the snaky vines intertwined beckoning visitors to enter without an exit. He gulped, and looked back at Kakashi and Hinata who both grinned slightly at him. The silver-haired man gave him a push.

"What, are you suddenly scared … well, after all you're still a kid."

The blonde did not give to the tease instead, he pulled himself together and with a big puff, he took the farthest step toward the entrance. He put on his brave face, and raised his chin at Kakashi to show his haughtiness.

"I'm thirteen by the way, not a kid."

The silver-haired jounin laughed underneath his mask, and that really pissed the blonde. Hinata worriedly looked at the two, one from the other, and then again and again, not confidently convinced what to do or say.

"Well, Naruto-kun, please do go ahead."

"I am."

He took a step.

"Right now…" his voice trailed off.

He took another step.

"Just a little more," the blonde convinced him self.

"Well, why don't I help?"

With that, the silver-haired man gave him a gigantic push throwing him past the entrance to the Sound Village. Kakashi laughed again, and who knows how his face looked like underneath that mask. Hinata trailed behind the both of them, acting more like a follower than being in second command.

"Well, here we finally are."

Once inside, Naruto's stubbornness and haughtiness returned, and he pretended to fiercely lead the way again.

…

Finally night came, and the three prepared for bed positioning their beds close to the fire. Slowly, Kakashi fell into a deep sleep as usual with his ears plugged from the outside world and its noises, but Naruto knew what Hinata was up to, and the blonde was waiting for the moment she makes her move. She twitched, and so did he. Her head slightly popped up from underneath the sleeping covers, and he could see her head searching left to right for any presence of being noticed. _Well, she failed as a shinobi_, Naruto thought. Finally, she climbed out of bed, and quickly equipped herself with her kunai, and a pocket of onigiri.

"Sorry, Kakashi-san. Sorry, Naruto-kun," she apologetically whispered before implementing her impatient desire, but a small hand grasped her arm, and she almost screamed. Hinata turned around to find the blonde, wide-eyed open at her filled with understanding and pity.

"Naruto-kun," she whispered, "Why are you still up?"

"I can ask you the same," he retorted.

She quickly placed her index finger to her nose, pleading him to be as quiet as possible. He nodded his head in agreement as his cerulean eyes zoomed left to right for any hints of Kakashi waking up.

"I …"

"You don't have to tell, I can tell pretty much."

Her eyes told him all that she did not believe him.

"It's Sasuke isn't it?"

"Eh—"

"You want to talk to him, right? You want to help him?"

She looked at him for a long time, and nodded her head slowly.

"You told me before about regrets—it's about Sasuke, isn't it?"

She didn't answer the boy for a long time.

"The night he left for Orochimaru, he asked me to go with him."

"So you wanted to leave?"

She shook her head.

"No, I can't – but, I could've stopped him, instead I gave him the resolve to leave Konoha."

The blonde did not seem to understand her story at all.

"That night, I – you probably don't understand since you're still a kid."

"Then do you understand?" the blonde retorted again. Hinata simply looked at him for a while, before clearing her voice.

"That night, I became one with him. I told him I would wait for him, and then he left." She burst into tears, and repeatedly blamed himself:

"It was my fault…"

"Then, should I look for him?"

Hinata quickly stopped her outburst of tears, and puzzled, she continued to stare at the blonde whose head seemed to be filled with mischievous ideas.

"I will look for him myself," she replied.

"He doesn't remember you … don't I seem like a better bait?"

She was starting to see his plan a little better.

"I'm the nine-tailed fox – Orochimaru and Akatsuki are both looking for me, and both of them are related to Sasuke."

Hinata listened carefully.

"You told me yourself that even if Sasuke forgets all about you, he'll never forget his revenge against the brother who murdered his clan."

She slightly nodded her head, and then furiously shook her head.

"No, I can't let you go… you are valuable to Konoha."

The blonde smiled but there was sarcasm in the grin.

"I want to find Itachi-san," the blonde finally told her the truth.

"Eh—"

"I want to ask him why he did all those things. I want to believe him."

Hinata gazed at the blonde understandably, but shook her head again.

"Tomorrow night – I promised to return here by then, please?"

Hinata turned around to check on Kakashi again. He twitched.

"Ok, but tomorrow night 8:00pm, you'll be back regardless of what you find … "

The blonde nodded his head, and preparedly equipped hid body with weapon and food. He nodded to acknowledge the plan, and within a flash, disappeared like razor wind. Kakashi opened his eyes, and shook his head slightly as he pretended to drift back into sleep. Two _idiots who failed as shinobi_, he silently complained in his head.

…

For a while now, the blonde felt a little strange like someone was trailing behind him. Sometimes when he suddenly stopped, he'll hear the wind behind him quickly pacing up and down as if being alternated by the existence of some other gravity. A human being? He guessed. The blonde turned around once in a while, but he cannot stop; his time is limited.

Finally, he came to the edge of a cliff.

"This should do it."

He reached his small hand into his back pocket, and pulled out an oddly shaped flute. He stared at it preciously, and finally placed the holes close to his lips.

"How did it go again?"

He hummed the melody softly, and then louder and louder until he could easily pinpoint his errors. He shook his head … _da di da di dum_… It was a strange melody taught to him by Itachi – one of the many gifts he had received as a child, and one of the few he kept close to his heart.

[Flashback] …

Another boring day slowly trailed by, and finally it's over; the small child climbed into his bed after slipping into his pajamas, and cap. He yawned but he did not feel too tired yet, so aimlessly, he stared at the full blossomed moon until it slowly formed into the shape of a man. The blonde screamed, but his volume quickly faded away into that of an echo as the man's face blurred into focus. The familiar man placed a finger up to the edge of his beautiful, long nose, and softly he whispered, "hush." He climbed into the blonde's room, and with both hands over his lips, Naruto made no sudden noise or movement; it was a sign of invitation. The blonde freed the palms from his mouth, and let his voice speak:

"Itachi-san?"

"Shh…" Itachi forbade the boy.

Once inside, the Uchiha observantly twirled from angles to degrees, and paced around the tiny room the blonde resides in. His attention dropped to the garbage filled with empty ramen cups, and he chuckled.

"Your room is nice and clean …" Itachi complimented.

The blonde nodded with the comment.

"…but it's a little too small."

The blonde looked at his feet. He was well aware of it too, but he did not need any more than what he already had – this was good enough for an outcast. Itachi seemed to understand his expression, and slowly, the older man brought up an arm to the boy's shoulders.

"If your room is too small, where would you put my present?"

The surprised blonde looked at the man with a confused stare, but the Uchiha only smiled at him with his usual too gentle expression. He then pulled out a tiny wrapped gift from his back pocket, and the blonde hesitated to take it at first but slowly nodded his head as an acknowledged thanks, and quietly took it into his tiny grasp.

"Why don't you open it?"

The blonde only stared at the oddly wrapped gift and its' strange shape. He could not even stop to think what it might be.

"What is it for?"

"For your birthday—it's today isn't it?"

The blonde continued to silently stare at the man.

"How did you know?"

"I'm actually an Anbu."

Naruto thought he looked really cool just now; the first time he saw the Anbu squad was when he was five and the way the men banded together like packs seemed very cool to the solitary boy he was then and now.

"So, an Anbu can just flip through people's profiles?"

Itachi shook his head; that question just now made him seem like a pervert or a creep.

"No, but I was interested so I hope you don't mind."

The blonde blushed slightly.

"No, you're the first to give me a birthday present."

"Really? I'm happy."

The blonde shook his head again, and this time, he was hiding his brightly flushed face from the man by tilting his dead slightly downward.

"No, I should be happy," the child retaliated, only causing the man to laugh. The blonde quickly unwrapped the present to find a strange instrument. He stared back at the Uchiha who gently smiled at him before taking the instrument into his own hand preparing to provide instructions for the gift. He placed his long, slender fingers over the evenly spaced holes, and his lips gently touched the opening at the tip of the end.

"You do it like this."

He handed the instrument back to the blonde, and Naruto imitated his actions. The blonde attempted to blow into the musical instrument, but only a hollow noise blew out. Hours and hours flew by with the man instructing the child to play their secret melody, but finally, the sun rose at the corner of the blonde's window, and Itachi knew it was time to leave.

"Next time, I will bring you more things."

The blonde simply nodded his head in an embarrassing manner. As the child he was, he wanted to deny and to wait for those surprises again. He wanted to spent more time with the Anbu like he did last night, and forever.

"Then, I'm off."

The blonde watched the Uchiha as he climbed out of the frame of his window; he knew there was something left for him to say.

"Itachi-san," he called the man back, and Itachi waited before disappearing.

"Thank … you," he whispered loudly enough for the man to hear, and Itachi smiled back with a nod, "…_itterashai_." He had always wanted to say that but there was no one to say it to; the moment he said it, felt his nape burning hot to the tip of his ears, and he kept his eyes glued to the floor.

"_Ittekimasu..._"

He was too happy to look up, and when he did the man was too far out of sight. Yes, it was as if they were a family suddenly, and the flute in the palms of his hands was proof of that existence.

[End of flashback]…

Naruto pulled away from the instrument; he knew there was no way the man would return his call anymore. Itachi left the village as a traitor, and he was not coming back –not for him, not for anyone.

The branch snapped from behind him; someone was definitely following him. Naruto grabbed the kunai from his leg pockets, and swiftly flung it, but missed. The blonde watched the crescent shaped leaf slowly fell to the ground only then to take the form of a snake, quickly racing for his neck. He was in for trouble, and by the time he realized that, the snake was hissing at his neck with its venomous fangs ready for a deep bite. The blonde shut his eyes, and he said his prayers within his puny head ready to be massacre, but nothing happened. Quickly, he opened his eyes to see a palely lit man standing in the moon light.

"I won't kill you," the stranger said in a solemn voice without attachment to the livings. The blonde did not understand him obviously.

"I won't kill you," he repeated again.

"But just now…"the blonde retaliated.

"I'm an anbu."

He didn't really make sense to the blonde at all, but the word "anbu" brought back a rapid flood of memories, especially of Itachi.

"I was sent to protect you," he continued on.

"Protect me?" the blonde was in a state of panic, as if someone had just handed him a paper test, "why?"

"Orders from above," the man continued on in his not-so-friendly tone.

"Protect me from what?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Sasuke?"

The blonde was originally sent here to bring back the Uchiha, but now, none of this is making any sense at all; although deep down, both Hinata and he knew something like this was bound to happen to the traitorous Uchiha.

"Uchiha Sasuke is considered a threat. Both Kakashi and Hinata knew of their real goal except for you."

Naruto didn't really want to believe him, but his emotionless soul proved the blonde he would not care to lie.

"What is our real goal then?"

"To bring Sasuke back for execution."

"Execution?"

The emotionless anbu nodded his head, and the blonde was in disbelief.

"…but Tsunade said rumors are spreading that Sasuke is doing it against his own will … he's controlled, isn't he?" the blonde broke into emotions.

"Rumors are rumors – the truth is the truth."

_Damn,_ the blonde did not feel like arguing with this stone. He took a few steps away from the anbu knowing he only have a few more hours until the promised time with Hinata. Now that he thought of it, Hinata was in such a rush to meet Sasuke first; the blonde only failed to notice that because he himself had impure intentions – he wanted to use Sasuke to find Itachi, and that was all. Naruto paced up, attempting to escape from the anbu, but watching the shadows reflected upon his soles, he knew the pale anbu was relentlessly following him.

"I don't need protection, so stop following me!"

The pale anbu looked at him again in an emotionless manner.

"You, quit following me," the blonde shot his finger at the man.

"My name is Sai, not you."

"Ok Sai, go back and tell your leaders, I don't need help!"

The emotionless anbu made no other noise or movements for a while.

"I'm not following you because I want to."

"What?"

"I'm a special anbu so I must accomplish all orders."

"What are you, a puppet?"

"Precisely, and I don't really care if you die or not, but it is my mission to not let it happen, besides that, I don't really care about you at all."

His words really frustrated the blonde, but he could only retaliate by pacing his escape from the anbu before the sun rises, but the pale anbu's footsteps moved like staccato notes. The blonde paced up as much as his small body could carry him, and he felt the biceps he had been working on all years tearing out from limbs to limbs – the anbu was persistent and he was good at being persistent.

"How long are you going to keep up?" the irritated blonde demanded with a scowl on his face, but Sai did not wince even for one split second. He was not afraid of the boy, as Naruto had pretty much predicted. The blonde toughened up, and raised his head slightly taller to reach the pale expression on the anbu's.

"Until an order has been issue to cancel my mission or until I complete it."

Sai kept his long expression as usual, which only irritated the blonde further more. Naruto tried a few new things, and threw a tantrum at the man; finally, Sai looked away for a few minutes as he bend over to pick up the book Naruto had slapped out of his bag, and when he looked back up, the blonde was nowhere in sight. In truth, the blonde could not run far – he had both hands over his lips and nose, and he could only do so for so long. He squeezed his eyes hard as he watched the pale man aimlessly searching for him. His expression stayed bored, and not once did he call out to the hidden blonde.

This was the best he could do, and Naruto could only hold his breath in for another while. Sai waited for a long time depending on his trained ears to track the blonde's breathing and any needless noises he may made, but Naruto was more reliable than that; after all, he was ultra stubborn.

Finally, the pale anbu was gone in a quick flash and the blonde relieved himself with heavy panting. He checked the sun's position, and there was absolutely no way he could find any hints of any Uchiha within few hours. The blonde let out a sigh, and pulled out a rice ball to chew on as he continued down the path slowly, just in case the anbu was still trailing in the path ahead. He heard the sound of a tree snapping again; the startled blonde jumped behind a bush, ready to stop breathing once he spots the anbu again. It was not Sai – instead, another pale figure walked out heedlessly searching from right to left as if he had just caught the attention of something. As his face came to lights, Naruto saw Itachi in him, except he looked younger, and a lot more cold than Itachi ever was. The man has dark, flaming crimson eyes, and within his pupils, a familiar shape formed – undoubtedly, that shape was the proof of being an Uchiha. Naruto battled his thoughts with questions of whether he should approach the man or not, but the stranger looked somewhat dangerous, and he was slightly afraid to directly jump out.

"You're there, aren't you?"

The stranger's voice was cold and hoarse, but somewhat lonely, and underneath the moonlight, his complexion was fading, but still, he remained beautiful just like Itachi. He searched again, as if he was lost, from left to right then right to left again.

"I know you're there!"

Suddenly, his voice retorted into an angry tone, and his lonely face was filled with rage. The blonde noticed his clenched fists, and he gulped in nervousness. The silence filled with cold night with nothing but the chimes from the soundless winds.

"Nii-san, it's you isn't it?"

_Nii-san,_ the blonde thought to himself, and then the picture came into places; the puzzle started to make sense, but within his sudden realization, a third footstep entered.

The alarmed Uchiha quickly turned around with blazing sharingan eyes, and across from him, was the persistent anbu. _Oh no,_ the blonde thought to himself as the memories of what Sai had told him earlier quickly came flooding back.

"_What is our real goal then?"_

_ "To bring Sasuke back for execution."_

Sai glared at the man, and he glared back. The two seemed to sense each other's hostility and their intents to kill. Sasuke scratched the center of his closed palms, ready to attack, and Sai gripped his brush slightly harder – _damn_, the blonde knew he had to do something.

"Stop—"

He took all his blazing courage to face both hostile warriors, but luck had other things in store for him, and the blonde felt his left leg slowly letting in to the cracked floor. Between his nose and eyes, Naruto thought he spot what Itachi once called a hell hole – a black big hole that would swallow everything up, and when both startled men turned to face him, he was swallowed right up.

"Naruto?" the pale anbu was unsure of what exactly had happened. The boy he thought had successfully escaped him fell right into the cracked space, and when he observed it more closely, it wasn't a hole – it was a trap. Before the anbu could make a move, Sasuke plunged himself after the boy attempting to pull him up, but instead, the stubborn blonde cling to him as they both plunge deeper into an endless hole. The blonde was certain he saw his whole life flashing pass by as Sai's voice faded away, and when he looked up one last time, he saw the serene face of the man who resembled Itachi.

"Itachi-san?" His voice gave out, and before everything became black, he thought he saw a strange expression on the Uchiha's face, as if he had suddenly came to realization.

…

Naruto opened his eyes again to find himself in a dimly lit place with damped floors, almost gooey. He was definitely in hell or in the pit of some monster's stomach – at least, that's what he thought. When he started to move, he realized the Uchiha had his arms brutally locked around the blonde's waist, and Naruto started to slowly release himself before waking the blonde, but he failed. The Uchiha slowly fluttered his eyes open, fighting with the sudden darkness and light existing in the pit. Finally with both eyes opened, he stared at the blonde for a long time, and the uneasy boy, continued to stare at him as well.

"Who are you?" the stranger asked the boy.

"Na-ru-to," the blonde enunciated his name for the Uchiha, and he continued to silently observe the boy from left to right and down to up.

"You don't know me?" the blonde attempted to break the eerie silence. Sasuke shook his head silently, and continued to observe him.

"Then why did you jump after me?"

The Uchiha stopped moving his head from left to right, and directly stared at the blonde silently again. Slowly, he brought out one arm to caress the boy's cheeks, and Naruto winced at his actions but still managed to stay still for the man.

"I don't know – suddenly, there were all these flashbacks."

"Flashbacks?"

The Uchiha released him arm from the boy's cheeks, and smothered his head with the back of his palms – his expression in pain. He nodded to the blonde's question.

"Yeah, lots of them."

"What kind?"

_So it was true after all, that he no longer remember Konoha_ – the blonde thought to himself silently as he paid more attention to the man's pained expression.

"Lots of colors…"

"Colors?"

The blonde was starting to sound like a psychiatrist, but why was the Uchiha telling him all this anyways. Did it have something to do with him jumping for the blonde? Naruto watched the man nod his head like a confused child.

"Red, blue, and yellow—"

Sasuke stopped to think.

"There were a lot of people, a big moon, a mask, and –"

It was as if the memories were slowly flooding back.

"...and a boy running away…"

"…a boy?"

The Uchiha nodded again.

"He was blonde—"

"What?"

"He had a mask in his hand…"

"Wait—"

"…and he was running away."

"Wait—"the blonde interrupted again.

"Are you taking about me?"

The man seemed to be in great misery suddenly as he banged the edge of his palms against his forehead, attempting to call the memories back. The blonde tried to stop him, and fiercely grabbed hold of both arms.

"I don't know, but—"

He stopped again to think.

"…the memories came back when I saw you."


End file.
